Turning the tide?

Here lies the transcript of a typical conversation with one of my friends, I've nicknamed him Sleazy for the process of blogging, but despite this he does remarkably well with the ladies, and could easily land himself a girlfriend if he wanted to, here is a typically moronic exchange about my plans for the coming months:


Sleazy: So targets for the year?
Fedsy: I dunno, I've tried everything. I think I might go back to my first year behaviour and need to be carried home from every night out, just be a complete lunatic. I'm so depressed about women at the moment, no matter how nice, how much of a chirpy chap I am, it doesn't work and i get women like queen. It's a vicious roundabout... (Brief pause) Life's all pain, mate, pain, rejection and gloom. I dunno what else I can do in my quest for a woman... (Another pause) What do you reckon? Spend all my money on new clothes? Dye my hair? Be horrible, treat em mean etc?
Sleazy: The nice guy works. Just confidence, maybe less of the lunatic...
Fedsy: I wasn't a lunatic last semester though. I changed completely who I am and it sickened me and 
still didnt work, wasn't worth lying to myself. Maybe I should pretend to be gay so they don't feel so threatened/ashamed of me.
Sleazy: Good lord, man! (Reconsidering) Doesn't sound like a bad idea, but I dont think they'd actually believe you were gay.
Fedsy: I'm just running out of ideas, and the women are running from me, so its a lose/lose sitch.
Sleazy: Maybe think less about it, don't worry and what comes will come.
Fedsy: Mmm, I think i have curbed that to some extent though, there's just no reversing the rep I've developed at uni now sadly. I'm seen as a joke, not in a bad way, but not in an attract a woman way.
Sleazy: You're seen as a pillar of greatness, but women don't appreciate a man who can vomit out of his eyeballs.


And at this point the conversation moved on.


Are there any key points in here? No. Does any of this conversation make sense? Of course not. But what it does underline is the desolateness of my situation and how, like Hal from Malcolm in the Middle, there simple is no escape from it.